Avoidance absence:
When people avoid difficult situations at work
Sickness absence is one of the most challenging areas of people management.
Most employers understand that people get ill. Employees have the right to take time away from work when they are genuinely unwell and organisations should have processes in place to support them.
But what happens when someone calls in sick because they cannot face a situation at work?
Perhaps they are worried about a difficult conversation with their manager. Maybe there is conflict with a colleague. They could be struggling with workload, pressure or a relationship at work that has become difficult.
This is sometimes described as avoidance absence.
I recently ran a poll on LinkedIn asking people whether they had ever called in sick to avoid a difficult situation at work.
The results were interesting:
- 18% said they had personally done this.
- 18% said they knew their staff had done this.
- 9% said they were sure their manager had done this.
- 54% said no.
The results do not tell us that people are dishonest. They tell us that difficult conversations and uncomfortable situations are a reality in workplaces.
The bigger question is why people feel unable to have the conversation they need to have.
What is avoidance absence?
Avoidance absence is when someone is absent from work because they are trying to avoid a difficult situation, conversation or relationship at work.
It is important to be clear that this does not mean every absence linked to workplace issues is fake or dishonest.
Stress, anxiety and workplace conflict can have a genuine impact on someone’s wellbeing. Someone may be physically unable to work because of the emotional impact of a situation, even if there is not an obvious physical illness.
The challenge for employers is understanding what is really happening.
A person who is regularly absent before a performance meeting, after a disagreement with a colleague or around a particular shift pattern may consciously or unconsciously be sending their employer a signal that something is wrong and needs attention.
The absence itself may not be the problem. It may be a symptom of a bigger issue.
Avoidance happens from both employees and managers
When we talk about avoidance absence, the focus is often on employees.
However, avoidance is something we see from both sides of the employment relationship.
Employees may avoid conversations because they are worried about the consequences. They may fear being labelled as difficult, worry that their concerns will not be taken seriously or believe that speaking honestly will make things worse.
Managers and business owners can also avoid difficult conversations.
Many employers tell us they are concerned about saying the wrong thing. They worry that anything they say could later be used against them.
The result is that both sides avoid the conversation that needs to happen.
The employee takes time away from work.
The manager delays addressing the issue.
The problem remains.
Avoidance rarely makes a difficult situation disappear. It usually gives it time to grow.
Can managers be absent too?
Yes.
Managers are employees too and they can also avoid situations that feel uncomfortable.
A manager may avoid giving feedback to an employee who is underperforming. They may delay dealing with conflict within their team. They may avoid addressing a complaint because they are worried about getting it wrong.
This can have a significant impact on the team.
When managers avoid issues, employees often notice. They may feel unsupported, uncertain about expectations or frustrated that problems are not being addressed.
Good leadership does not mean avoiding difficult situations. It means having the confidence to deal with them in a fair and respectful way.
How can employers spot avoidance absence?
Sickness tracking is important, but this should not sit solely with HR.
Line managers are usually much closer to the situation. They know their team, they understand the working relationships and they are more likely to notice changes in behaviour or patterns of absence.
HR can provide support, advice and guidance, but line managers have an important role in managing attendance and having conversations with their people.
Employers should look for patterns rather than individual incidents.
For example:
- Does absence regularly happen before certain meetings?
- Does someone become unavailable after receiving feedback?
- Are there particular workplace relationships or situations that appear linked to absence?
- Has someone’s behaviour changed before they start taking time away from work?
These questions are not about catching people out.
They are about understanding what support may be needed.
How has home working changed avoidance absence?
Hybrid and home working have changed the way avoidance can appear.
Historically, avoidance may have been easier to spot because someone was physically absent from the workplace.
Now, someone may technically be working but avoiding interaction.
For example:
- not responding to emails, Slack messages or Teams messages
- becoming unavailable during working hours
- avoiding meetings
- delaying decisions or communication
- keeping conversations transactional rather than engaging with colleagues
These behaviours may have many explanations. Someone may be overwhelmed, struggling with workload or experiencing personal difficulties.
However, ongoing avoidance can still have an impact on the team and the business.
Home working can also become a way of avoiding workplace relationships. Someone who is uncomfortable seeing a colleague or manager may choose to work remotely more often because it feels easier than addressing the underlying issue.
Again, the answer is not to assume the worst.
The answer is to have the conversation.
Do return-to-work conversations uncover the real reason for absence?
They can, but it depends on the quality of the conversation.
A return-to-work meeting should not feel like an interrogation.
If an employee believes the purpose of the conversation is to challenge their absence or find fault, they are unlikely to explain what is really happening.
The quality of the relationship between the employee and manager matters.
A good manager may notice that someone is not themselves and ask:
“Is everything OK?”
“Is there anything happening at work that we need to talk about?”
“Is there anything we can do to support you?”
These conversations create opportunities for problems to be addressed before they become bigger.
Do sickness policies encourage honesty?
A sickness policy sets expectations, but it does not create culture.
Managing sickness absence is becoming increasingly difficult for employers. Changes to statutory sick pay, including payment from the first day of sickness, have created additional challenges for some businesses.
However, the answer is not simply creating stricter rules.
A good sickness policy should reflect the culture and values of the organisation. It should explain how absence will be managed and how employees can ask for support.
A policy that feels purely focused on monitoring and consequences may discourage honest conversations.
A policy that ignores absence issues can allow problems to continue unchecked.
The policy needs to be supported by good management.
How can employers create more honest conversations about absence?
The answer starts with trust.
Employees need to feel that they can raise concerns without immediately fearing a negative response.
Managers need to feel confident having conversations without worrying that every word will be interpreted negatively.
This does not mean avoiding accountability.
Support and accountability should work together.
Practical steps employers can take include:
- encouraging regular conversations between managers and employees
- training managers to handle difficult conversations confidently
- addressing concerns early rather than waiting for them to escalate
- looking for patterns in absence and behaviour
- creating clear processes that explain expectations
- making sure employees know where they can get support
The aim is not to create a workplace where difficult situations never happen.
They will happen.
The aim is to create a workplace where people feel able to talk about them.
Deal with the molehill before it becomes a mountain
Many workplace problems start small.
A conversation that does not happen.
A concern that is ignored.
A relationship that becomes strained.
A manager who hopes things will improve without intervention.
The earlier employers address these issues, the more options they usually have.
Avoidance absence is rarely just about attendance. It is often about communication, trust and confidence.
Creating a culture where people can have open and honest conversations helps employees, managers and the business.
If you need support helping your managers handle difficult conversations, manage absence or create stronger HR foundations, give the DOHR team a ring.
